One thing that often waits until all the visitors have gone home, the relatives said their piece and friends finally give you some time to relax is you're left to reconsider your plans if something happens to you.
Tune out if you want but the truth is if you haven't set plans in motion by now you need to get with it fast. See I've been married twice and had a few long term relationships here and there and in everyone I heeded the advice my Dad gave me. He along with many others I would meet later always made it a point of making sure your wife or significant other had their own bank accounts, cards, retirement plans and a good will in place. I've seen the evidence in my own life, my parents and many relatives and friends. Taking care of this is crucial to insuring as easy a transition as possible if something happens to you. As my Dad used to say it's just good horse sense.
Every time this was not done the problems and endless legal battles created many more frustrations, bad feelings and sundered many friends and families at a time they should have other issues on their minds. I remember well a distant relative passed away and a left a little over 6 figures estate but no will. The state ended up taking over and it took almost 2 years for all the legal wrangling, protests and filings to get over with before it was finally settled. Then another 6 months for everyone to be notified of the final decision and breakdown. Then 3 more for everyone to get their checks no matter how small they were.
Imagine your family and loved ones having to go through all that because you delayed taking care of what you know to be just common horse sense. You see I learned much of this at my fathers knee because he refused to believe anyone couldn't take care of their own finances if they just had some basic understanding about budgets, finances and long term planning. You see we moved here from Indiana because he could no longer farm. He got rheumatoid arthritis that left that 6' 220lb muscle farm boy in a wheel chair and him weighing 85lbs. I've seen his private record books from when he farmed and he noted every single expense, money made, bank deposits and loan. Including his 10 cents for an occasional pack of cigarettes. It wasn't like a ledger but rather simple notes about what he planted when, what needed to be done, visits of family or friends, etc.
However when we got here my mom had to go to work and support us three kids and a wheel chair and bed ridden husband. Luckily she had trained for and received an RN license which she got approval to make good in Arizona. She went to work while friends and neighbors made sure us kids got fed, went to school and my dad was taken care of. My dad did slowly get better and later left the wheel chair behind. At first crutches and a cane but even those he could ignore on most occasions. His progress was remarkable for being told he wouldn't last 6 months if he didn't leave Indiana and his love of farming behind. So they had an auction, packed up the Chevy with 3 kids in tow and moved to Arizona.
You see we had no choice but to watch every single penny and account for every expense no matter how small. As soon as we were able we kids worked mowing lawns, turning in milk and soda bottles for the deposit, pulling weeds, whatever it took to help make ends meet. I got my first new pair of pants of my own when I went to school in 6th grade. All of us had our own savings accounts and we were allowed to spend a little of the money we earned for an ice cream or candy once a week, some went to savings and the rest to help the family. When I got my new pants I lobbied for and used some of my savings to contribute half the cost for my first new pair of shoes. A pair of Keds sneakers.
I never did learn all the importance of what he was demonstrating to us until much later when I began a family of my own only to make some really dumb mistakes as a result. However I did learn and began to put in place all the ideas and concepts I'd seen first hand. That was what led to many of the reasons for my first divorce because I was trying to turn things around and she wanted to spend like we used to and it went down hill from there.
Look I could give all sorts of examples here but the bottom line is to take the time right now this minute to figure out what you need to do so it doesn't bite you in the butt later. It's not enough to plan to do something about it you have to start doing something about it. Planning is not action. It's supposed to be a short prelude to getting to work not months and years of excuses for your delay. Believe me. Knowing my ex wife and kids were taken care of when I had my heart attack and things would be handled without problems made it much easier and whole lot of additional fears side tracked. You can't start too soon if you haven't already. If you haven't and you've had plenty of time to do something about it what's you're problem?
If you love yourself, your kids, your family, and any of those closest to you, why are you tempting fate by endless planning, delaying or putting it off? All you do is risk making it worse if something does happen. Your kids aren't getting any younger so how long will you delay their first hand education? What example will they learn from YOU if they see you make excuses, delay and endlessly gather information instead of taking action to do something about it? What message do you send yourself when you constantly excuse your delay? Are you worth it? Are they worth it?
No more excuses. Learn from my and many others examples and do something about it now.
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